Hey miss 20 something,I know 30 feels like a long time away but it really isn’t. In the spirit of having it together and being THAT admirable miss 30 something I started doing the damn things already. I am still trying to build a life I love and I was thinking about sharing some of the steps I have taken so far towards that,enjoy 🙂
1.Forgive your parents
Are you really planning on having daddy issues for the rest of your life? at some point you have got to stop processing or working through it and let it go.I think we tend to forget that our parents are human,and they make mistakes.Your parents were still growing when they had you regardless of how old they were.So forgive it all. The big things and the little things but do not forget because that will make you parent better when it is your turn but definitely forgive.
2.Date someone who isn’t your type
At some point you have to accept all of your Ls and move to a new dating pool. Date someone older or younger,shorter or taller, darker or lighter, ugly or medium ugly,I mean as long as they are a decent human being. Chances are you might meet your future spouse. or you wont, but “it will give you poetry.”
3.Be at peace with yourself
Would you be friends with someone who talked to you the way you talk to yourself? we tend to be our own worst enemies always criticizing ourselves and beating ourselves up over and over about even the smallest of things.Stop holding on to shame,it is the most toxic of emotions.So what you have let yourself down or other people down,let it go. Be kind to yourself.
Being at peace with yourself is extremely important. Accept the reality of things and keep it moving. Don’t compare yourself with others and know that your purpose in life is different.
4.Acquire a sophisticated palate
Please stop ordering chips and chicken every time you eat out,you can make that at home or get it from the many fast food restaurants.Once in a while go to the Indian,Mexican,Italian,Chinese,Portuguese,Ethiopian etc restaurants.Try something you have never had before,as long as you are not allergic to the ingredients.I understand the comfort there is in ordering something you have had before but please stop it! ask for the chefs recommendation if you must.
5.Love your body today
Simply accepting it is not enough,you have to love it.Every droop Every curve Every sag Every wrinkle,grown women do not have insecurities
6. Speak your mind
This is something I truly have a problem doing,I am not a confrontational person so I would rather just not.But lately I have found myself picking my battles and engaging. If I don’t like your Neanderthal views about women we will definitely argue about that.If I don’t like the way something happened I will let it be known before I remove myself the situation.Biting your tongue does not benefit you but your oppressor,abuser,opponent.You are depriving them of the chance to take accountability for their shitty actions,so speak your damn mind.
7. Create something
A piece of art, a wig, a signature dish, a piece of literature, a dance sequence, you don’t have to share it if you don’t want to, Your work of art doesn’t have to be on display to make you feel good.
8. Find a gynecologist
I just experienced spotting for the first time in my life and I was absolutely freaking out. Google was being its usual self-blowing things out of proportion and I really wished I had a gynae to call. As we are getting older our lady parts will be changing. With kids in the near future and menopause in the distance future and I believe having a gynae you can trust to help you through all of this is a crucial part of taking care of yourself.
9. Befriend an older woman
I love hanging out with older women, they always have a way of shocking me. I am always surprised by how they are actually still fun on the inside inspire of the respectability and the gate keeping of patriarchy (this is sadly the case sometimes).They say experience is the best teacher but I don’t think it has to be your own experience. Some of the best advice I have ever received came from my older female friends.
10. Start a business/ company
I have zero plans of still working the 9-5 after 30. At 24, I feel like I have already accumulated enough knowledge and skills to run my own ship. So I started something now, it is hard at the moment but I know anything worth having takes years of smart hard work and I will die a wealthy woman come rain or high water.I would advise you to do the same, start something on the side to compliment your pay but have a greater vision for it, make it your retirement plan. Can you imagine financial freedom while you are still young enough to enjoy it? Can you just imagine??
Thank you for reading, Xa