It’s no secret that 25 has been the best year of my life. I wrote a book and my breasts doubled in size which has resulted in the most delicious boost of confidence I have ever felt in my life. But that aside life has been happening as life does – teaching me unsolicited lessons. Here are some of them:
Saying yes to the soft life
For me having a soft life is simply about saying no to difficult things and yes to easier more fulling things. For instance I no longer have tolerance for draining relationships, unrewarding friendships and general unpleasantness. Why should I be pouring into dead things when I could be at the spa or sipping chardonnay somewhere? please there is nothing noble about suffering and it is not my portion.
The soft life might seem like it is about luxury and superficiality but I believe that at its core – it’s about selfcare -whatever it is that you do to treat and unknot yourself. And as my first priority, I am now doing everything within my means to make my life as soft and delightful as I possibly can.
Being content with abundance
2020 has been a year of abundance for me and it has been rather difficult to embrace. I have received a lot of love, stability, opportunities and money I have not really received before and the imposter syndrome has kicked in really hard. I have had to teach myself that I am worthy and deserving of everything I have and to be grateful and not fearful of the blessings.
Also, the law of attraction says the things you resist will not come to you so who am I to resist all these amazing things?
Speaking of unpleasantness, I have this year realised that I have been unpleasant to be around in the past and it has been a tough pill to swallow. Let me begin by saying that I am not a sociable person, I am an introvert and I just want to be in my bed. In the past, I would go to events, meetings or vacations and not bother to be accommodating. Not that I was nasty, but I am socially awkward and anxious so I would sit by myself and be on my phone, because in my head I did not think my lonesomeness affected anyone.
But looking back, I clearly remember people CONSTANTLY checking to see if I was ok or having a good time and I cringe, lord I cringe. I almost want to go back in time and apologize to everyone who has ever invited me to anything for being that way. Don’t get me wrong, I still go out of my way to avoid human interaction – but if I leave my house out of my own volition then it would not kill me to be pleasant and warm to people.
Appreciating my body
If you know me then you know that I have battled eating disorders and body dysmorphia my whole life. It has been a vicious cycle of measurements, counting calories and the all consuming guilt I feel when I eat food .
But this year – after suffering from chronic pain and being diagnosed with a lifelong genetic disorder -witnessing how my body fought and triumphed made me I realise just how unkind I have been to it. I felt so sad and remorseful that I had spent so much time hating and trying to dismantle my body and yet everything I have done in this life has been thanks to my healthy and able body.
And so I have become a little more appreciative and I now know it is not enough to accept my body, I must live in celebration of it.
Is not an ultimate destination. It is an emotion that comes and goes. I don’t have to perform it, or try to hold on to it.
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