“emotionally unavailable people always return when you cut them off because they want control back. It’s not you they want”
The Slumflower
If you are reading this I am going to go ahead and assume that he has ghosted you again. You really thought he was going to stick around this time huh? listen baby girl put the phone down. Well after you read this post 😊. This is also for you who can feel him slipping away. Texting him feels now feels like a chore, he responds after hours and hours, he stands you up and every time you respond to his half ass efforts you can feel your self-esteem slowly ebbing away. Well I am here to help with you with a list of things you can do to keep yourself distracted till you get over him. We are too grown for these situationships honey!
1. Cry,if you’re about that life. Personally, I am not. I say to myself “I’ll cry at the end of the day not with fresh make up” (hey Kim!) when I get home I am usually too exhausted to even get into my feelings so I just sleep instead.
2. Remember temple run? Who has time to check their texts while playing this super distracting game.
3. Talk shit with your girls on the group chat.
4. Fight the urge to post a super sexy selfie just to get his attention.
5. Stalk him one last time then do the right things. Block – unblock then clear search history. Read the chat reminisce about the time when he actually used to text you back then delete the whole thing.
6. Cook: A complicated meal that requires a lot of attention. A meal you have never cooked before.
7. Dance: it’s very hard to be sad when you are twerking. Do it in front of a mirror and watch that thing go babes. This way you also get in some cardio.
8. Binge Watch: American Crime Story: The assassination of Gianni Versace, I mean really watch it and learn new things about the Aids epidemic in the 90s and gain a new perspective of the gay experience and the human experience. Plus, the murders will literally make you cuss out loud!
9. I’d say go out but Blantyre is too small (if you’re from anywhere else please do go out) we all go to the same places and chances are you will run into each other and you will end up in his bed. So, go out of town instead, stay at a backpacker’s lodge they are super affordable and apart from the staff you will probably be the only black person there.
10. Can’t sleep? Watch those birthing videos people are always retweeting and ask yourself how you let someone take you fi ediat after your mother went through all of that bringing you into this world.
11. Get some post nut clarity. A glass of wine and a good erotica book or wine and a good site. Don’t make me spell this out for you. Explore your body you might discover some things he never even made you feel.
12. Get your hair nails done, listen to salon gossip. Someone’s wife has it worse than you!
13. Get your face beat and go on a photoshoot, they cost as little as 5k for 20 minutes these days. Get your confidence back on!
14. Clean out your closet, make a pile of clothes to give away. Giving has a way of making you feel good.
15. Create: write, draw, paint, take photographs, sing, design a new cocktail, a new dress, sew. If you don’t know what you what you are passionate about just google DIY projects and you can learn to make so many cool things for your house/room and and how to repurpose old clothes. Take a makeup class on YouTube.
16. He doesn’t want you, if he did he would have behaved differently. Go ahead and write that down and make it your wallpaper or stick it on your mirror as a constant reminder of the reality of your situation.
17. Life is short, really short. This is the last moment you will ever be this young you do not want to spend it wallowing around over a boy.
If you still want to text him because having some goddamn self-respect is out of the question for you then I will leave this for you-
“Ever notice how much they enjoy ignoring your texts?tweets, emails ?and that when you pull them out on it, they make you feel like such a stalker? This is because they receive ego strokes from ignoring you. Their ignoring of you only makes you work harder for their validation. This makes them treat you worse. But it’s never too late to reclaim your power”- The Slumflower
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