how to mothers day when you don't have

For my mother “I never lied,I love you in a place where there is no space and time”


When I was 13 my mother died, my world ended and I was almost offended that the world didn’t come to a standstill. Time has smoothed away most of the raw edges but there are days when grief catches up with me and bends my knees.

And so mother’s day is my least favorite holiday, especially when it falls on a Tuesday. I mean love and light to all of you reading this but we seriously need to start a support group to get through the minefield that is today.

Buy your mother flowers

If you were fortunate enough to have your mother laid to rest in the same city as you or a short distance out of town,go and visit her. Lay down the flowers and fill her in on what’s going on in your life. My own mother is all the way in Mzimba so I can’t always make the trip.So every year on mother’s day or on her birthday I take a few minutes out of my day and light a candle,I wish her a happy mother’s day or happy birthday OUT LOUD and of course do the mini catch up. I find this so therapeutic.

Call the women who raised you

And those that didn’t,this a great day to spoil your grandmother.Call that aunt you haven’t talked to in a while but you know will probably be your ankhoswe in the next couple of years. CALL THEM! forwarding that tacky message on WhatsApp simply isn’t good enough.

Avoid WhatsApp statuses like the plague

You really can’t mute everyone,also let people enjoy things. Personally,I don’t post anything today. So I just save myself the data and emotional triggers by not viewing anyone’s status. Don’t forget to wish your friends and sisters a happy mother’s day though.


Your mother’s favourite food for your wife,hubby kids for yourself.While listening to her favourite songs of course(you would be surprised to find them on YouTube quiet easily). Bring back a little bit of her into your home.After you have eaten and done the dishes,let the nostalgia go.Today is just another day off from work really,distract yourself if you must, you already know what I say about wallowing.

Feed a child

Make your mother proud by feeding the needful. Make a donation of essentials to new mothers in government hospitals, they really could use the things you take for granted.
Or go to an orphanage and donate food stuffs for a day like today( rice,beans,cababage,cooking oil) you have no idea the many smiles this meal meal combo brings out of the children. If you are in Blantyre please call Mrs Chunga of Namasimba Opharn Care on +265 888 36 58 11 she is doing the lords work and could really use the help.

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