There are only small steps upward;an easier day,an unexpected laugh,a mirror that doesn’t matter anymore. I am thawing

Laurie Halse Anderson (Winter Girls)

Malaria sucks,malaria drugs are even worse. But I thought I could power through it because I am a baddie. So when I left the hospital with a bum full of painful injections and oral medication,I decided to do my own laundry for the first time in 3 years,I cleaned the house and even went out for a drink.

The next day there was hell pay. I do not remember how I got home from work what I remember are the hallucinations( I am not even joking) and cold sweats. When I finally came to around 5 on Monday evening,I decided it was time for a time out. I got assistance with work so I haven’t been doing too much, I’ve traded alcohol for water, candy has become a handbag staple to deal with the nausea and I even got vitamins.

I also noticed that the meds have been affecting my mood, I am very irritable and mean spirited. I’ve caught myself being curt with people several times. I even had a melt down on my whatsapp status the other night(it came from a good place, I stand by it) and so I am trying to be more mindful, it’s not right to make other people feel shitty just because I am not feeling well.

It hasn’t been all bad,I have been in high spirits regardless. Here is a run through of everything else that has been happening

Social media

My instagram has a 10 minute timer

I am barely on twitter,also your fave rapper said I am always complaining on there,he has a point.

Loving tik Tok (on free WiFi)

Learning Facebook

Watching

Barry

The Young Pope

Pitch Meeting on Youtube(highly Reccommend if you are a movie nerd)

Famalam on YouTube(the African Skits are sending me,HIGHLY reccomend if laughter is your thing)

Love Life

Is none existent. In broad strokes it has been me trying to convince myself on certain people because they seem nice or because we have history and realizing that I do not like being held hostage on my own phone. And so I am trying to find a kinder way of communicating that it is never going to happen,instead of just straight up ghosting. If you have any suggestions let me know in the comments

Listening to

49-99 | Tiwa Savage

Monica Lewinsky | Saint Jhn

Wonderful Life | Hurt

Bigger | Beyonce

Superstar| Jamelia

Loving

life

My nails?

My friends. They Spoil me,they induldge me,they love me, I love them forever.

I have been checking a lot of things off my grand scheme of things master sheet so that feels amazing.

right I think that is everything,wishing you an amazing productive week ahead.

love always,

Xa

All picture taken at Serendib suites

Leave a Reply