Hi,
So I have decided to be unbearably honest in this post because I need it and I’m hoping someone might find it useful.
As you may have noticed, I haven’t been around. The last post on this website is from May 2022, my social media presence has been sporadic and I barely respond to messages. The reason for that is that I have been reclusively fighting for my life for the better part of 2022-2023. I don’t know how to say this but I have been battling clinical depression and it has been the most corrosive and debilitating chapter of my life.
Unfortunately because of genetic predisposition, a gazillion traumas, chronic stress, etcetera it almost feels inevitable that I found myself in this predicament. I do not yet have the strength to write in detail about my journey seeking and accessing medical intervention and psychotherapy – but I will in time, in the hopes that it will save a life like it did my own.
It brings me to tears thinking about the time I went through the worst of it. How my friends held me, how my doctors listened patiently, how my elders prayed for me. I am only alive today because of their tireless and constant love and dedication towards me. I don’t know how I could ever repay them.
The fact that I am even able to write this – albeit through sobs- is a testament to how much better I am doing, it is astonishing – truly.
As I emerge from this darkness, I would like to be more open about my life experiences and how I navigate/d them. I believe my story is unique and girls like me rarely find the resources they need to pull through (trust me – I have looked). I apologise to all my readers who enjoy my travel and restaurant reviews as I will be putting those on hold for a while.
I deeply feel the need to open up and be the person I needed when I was 15, otherwise it will all have been for nothing.
Okay, that was heavy – hope to talk soon.
Love, Xa
